


sinking in a sea of sound.

by jeonghammy



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Sorry, M/M, keith really loves shiro, keith/not happiness, lance and keith are a mess, leadership problems
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-22
Updated: 2017-02-22
Packaged: 2018-09-26 06:06:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9870776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeonghammy/pseuds/jeonghammy
Summary: Keith has been looking for Shiro for a really, really long time. Lance finds Keith first.( post season 2/ep 13 )





	

Keith doesn’t remember the last time he ate.

Sure, it’s an irrelevant thought. His boot is currently stuck in what looks like mud, but it’s definitely moving. Keith gives it another helpless tug, a little _too_ exhausted for  _patience yields focus_ and all that, after all, any other method of escape could be very useful right now. Instead, the Paladin decides to groan and succumb to his fate, at least for the moment.

Keith doesn’t remember the last time he ate, and that’s because he never stopped from the moment Shiro went missing. He barely even remembers what went on from that point to the present, his foot groped by something alien, but actually giving the past an attentive thought--all _yields_ to the tight squeeze in his chest. Not from the fact Shiro was up and gone, but--

He shakes his head. No time.

Whipping out his bayard, Keith starts his process of chipping the now-solidified mud off his boot. It’s definitely confirmed to be entirely different than mud, seeing how it gives a high-pitch squeal and… oozes off?  _Huh_. As he is, he thinks nothing more of it and continues his tread through (what might be) the twentieth planet this week. Today?

Still irrelevant.

Keith doesn’t remember the last time he ate. Keith doesn’t remember how long it’s been. Keith doesn’t remember. Keith… no, no one remembers. From the day of Zarkon’s defeat, it became easily overshadowed by the absence of the Black Paladin. There were no victory parties. If remembered correctly, you could almost see the moment Keith turned on his heel, not a word, nothing and he was gone. No one went after him and that was the mistake.

And the reason why we question the Red Paladin’s eating habits, well, it helps determine why his pace finally slowed down. Someone is finally able to catch up.

“Ha! I’d recognize that mullet anyw--”

It only takes a beat and a half for Keith twist his form, stance back, sword extended from his bayard. A beat and a half. A mistake. He’s about to mentally note about stretching later, maybe it’s just the heat, just because he’s in a hurry, doesn’t have the time to

“Dude,”

To...

“What  _happened_ to you?”

“L… Lance?” Lance? How could Lance be here? How long has it been?

“Yeah.  _Lance_.”

It’s the heat.

“Keith.”

His chest hurts.

“Keith, hey.”

Why?

" _KEITH_.”

“I--

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Lance?” For what might have been the longest, most uncomfortable silence in anyone’s life.

“Yeeeeah, I’m taking you back. Right now.”

The other figure started their grasp towards Keith’s shoulder, a gentle,  _gentle_ movement as fingers started to curl and finish the grasp. It felt like jolting awake. Keith realizes it really is the Blue Paladin looking back at him, blinking until the picture finally clears. He studies his furrowing brows and frown settled on his face. A suit a lot like his own, touched with a bit of blue. No, his, the Blue Paladin’s armor. His,

“ _Lance_.”

“Okay, Keith, buddy, I’m happy to see you and all, but you’re starting to freak me out.” Lance has already managed to move his grasp from Keith’s shoulder to his wrist, hurriedly retreating through Keith’s previous path. Keith remembers that rock. That lizard with no eyes. The mud, still oozing along for another boot to dirty up.

“Wait, wait, wait,” and Keith finally finds his words. Footing too, heels digging into the ground as Lance almost loses his own balance, groaning but not looking back at the Red Paladin quite yet. Like he was quietly hoping this wouldn’t happen and it did. He probably lost a bet.

“I can’t go back, Lance. Not now.”

“Keith,” Lance starts, his voice soft. Keith doesn’t take notice, yanking away his hand and taking the precaution of a few steps back.

“I don’t know why you’re here, but I can’t go back. Not when I’ve gone so far.”

“Keith,” Lance continues, his voice introducing some irritation.

“I’m close. I can feel it. There are things I’ve found. Things he left behind. He’s trying to tell me something.”

" _Keith_ ,” Lance finishes, voice heavy with something new. Lance doesn’t ever sound angry, legitimately angry, but it’s certainly in his voice. He clears his throat like the feeling is in there. This is very unlike how they usually bump heads and sentiment eases the tension in his shoulders, sighing.

“I know you’ve been through a lot, I know. But do you even know how long it’s been?”

Keith doesn’t have a response. He’s very still, still deciding what his next move might be.

“Fine, okay, I don’t even know either. Just a long, too long of a time, Keith. Have you even looked at yourself? You look like a mess.”

Keith blinks back into reality again. Yes, the two bumping heads is too familiar and he recognizes the irritation. He’s almost ready to snap back when he really, really looks at himself for the first time in a long, too long of a time. He doesn’t even look like a Paladin, suddenly sure why he has been running into so much trouble lately, no matter where he ends up. More than usual, anyways. He wouldn’t trust anyone with his own look.

From Lance’s side, Keith honestly looks like the sixth and rejected Paladin everyone remembers from time to time, but everyone chooses to ignore the knowledge of him anyways. Or a really sad, dehydrated, hungry, tired, grumpy kid who has no idea what he’s doing. _Same_. But he can safely say he looks a lot better than Keith. He would celebrate the moment if weren’t for… all this. He even feels a tinge of guilt _thinking_ about a joke in this whole situation. A good choice keeping it to himself.

Whatever this is, Lance is not very good at it. Keith looks so lost. He feels something ache when Keith looks back at him with those _eyes_. It’s really hard to figure out how someone is feeling when they’re in a brooding stance 24/7, like it’s their job for life.

“We’ve been looking for you everywhere, and I mean... _everywhere_. Places I don’t even want to bring up, and you should make sure to ignore Pidge if she brings up anything about--”

“I don’t _care_ , Lance!”

It’s Lance’s turn to be caught off guard.

“I don’t. _Care_. I don’t have time for this.” Lost eyes are now determined. They are impatient and uncaring. Desperate. Gone.

“I’m so close and I’m not just about to go back empty-handed, not without… not without him.”

Lance’s eyes squeeze shut, grinding his teeth.

“You think you know what’s going on, but you DON’T, Lance. Yes, I know, I KNOW I look like a mess, but I don’t have time for looks and caring about that. Yes, I know I have a mullet and you hate it and you hate _me_ and I’ll take of that later if it matters that much to you!”

Lance stops. Lance’s eyes open, holding an unsteady expression.

“But I don’t have time for this. I don’t have time for you right now. I’m not going back to the Castle and I’m not going back to face Black, because I can’t… I can’t handle leading this team. I can’t do it, not without him.”

Lance takes a step forward.

“You don’t understand. I _can’t_ , I just can’t do what he has done for me! He, he can’t be gone again. I’ll be the one to find him, it’s always me. It, it has to be me.”

Another.

 “You just don’t understand, Lance. I can’t do it.”

 Lance pulls Keith into his arms.

 His hold starts gentle, _gentle_ but then becomes so tight, so much. Keith sinks immediately into it, down onto his knees with Lance holding on for dear life. Like he’s afraid he might start bucking away, that he absolutely, no matter what will not let go. Like he’s going to lose another one.

 “We can do it, Keith,” Lance starts again, practically speaking to no one, directing his eyes not quite anywhere. His head rests on Keith’s shoulder and he decides to fixate on something in the distance. He won’t have to worry about the trembling in his arms, shared in his own voice.

“Why don’t you just _get_ that? And you never even answered my question--do you actually know how long it’s been? You don’t even have a mullet anymore, it’s more like…”

 He tries a laugh.

 “I don’t know, long hair? You could probably even braid it.”

 Keith isn’t making a noise, but the trembling doesn’t stop. Lance finally eases his hold, hesitating a small moment before he soothes at Keith’s back. Maybe he’s used to it, this. Maybe before when he wasn’t here, at the Castle, with them, maybe back at home. Maybe this is something that Lance would do.

 “You act like it’s only just you, but it’s not. I swear, if you… if you weren’t like this, I’d be giving you an earful right now. I’ve already given the others enough of that, Hunk doesn’t even want to hear it, alone, be in the same room as me. Pidge has been struggling with gadgets to find the both of you, not that I understand any of it. She’s also not happy with me right now. It’s all I talk about. I know they don’t want to hear it, but I know it’s because they’re afraid it’s all true. They don’t even know I went out looking for you again. I’m sure Allura will have something to say about that. How could you just…”

 Lance stops, a small jump at the feeling of a hand touching his back. Grabbing blindly for purchase, he almost wants to help, but Keith manages to finally hold on. Lance breathes. Maybe this is also something Lance would do, not quite finish things he doesn’t mean when he finally feels them holding back.

 “Look, I’m going to take you back because I, we need you right now. You’re probably going to hear this once, _only_ once, but I can’t do this either, not without you. I know you need _Shiro_ , but even someone like me needs _Keith._ I can’t start losing everyone. We all can’t."

 Silence.

 “Let’s just keep going. You know, Shiro would be giving us a thousand lectures for what we’ve all be doing. I wouldn’t mind going through all of them if you could help finding him. We can find him, I’m not giving up either, but I just know… I had to find _you_ first.”

 Silence.

 “Please, Keith.”

 The trembling has eased, still present probably due to fatigue and the few other problems the Red Paladin chose to ignore. Keith finally has courage to look up his friend with tired, tired eyes. It feels very good to rest his feet, lulled in the arms of someone he would say is a bit annoying at times, but trusted arms. He hasn’t really ever felt them before, the warmth, but it feels almost familiar. Keith can’t seem to hold the eye contact too long, dropping his head back down onto Lance’s chest. He tries to not think too much of it. He'll definitely not tell Lance about any of this either, although he's aware how it looks. He'll be pleased on his own and he can at least hold his pride there. The last thing he needs is Lance, of all people, to be gloating about how apparently comforting he is.

 “Is my hair really that long?”

 Lance’s expression drops, a muffled question, but he definitely heard it.

 “You’re kidding me right? I… I open up to you, and the one thing you focus on is your _mullet transformation?_ ”

 “I’m trying to pretend that you holding me in your arms never happened. That’s what you want, right?”

 Lance immediately jumps back onto his feet, arms raised in the air.  _Yeah. Right. Sure_. He’ll take it, patting down his suit like he’s swatting away the fluttering in his chest, spreading to stain red all over his face.

 " _Anyways_ , we’re heading out. And-- heh, it looks like your ride is already here...”

 Keith is instantly puzzled as Lance points behind. 'Look, look,' a grin settled on his face. Keith looks back, fighting a smile despite being very unsurprised by Red sitting in the distance, patiently waiting for her Paladin like she hasn't been lazing around. _Heh_ , Keith was starting to wonder where she went off to, the traitor. She must have known Lance would end up here and shake around his emotions. Blue too, patient, but is for sure eager like her friend. Keith clenches his hand and unclenches, feeling tension slowly drift, seep, leave. He can already hear the hum of the Red Lion, the vastness of space, Allura's concern, Coran's babbling, Hunk's sobbing, Pidge's silent but loud grin. _Black_. Absolutely everything, even Shiro, wherever he might be vacationing. It's like nothing ever changed, he's just here, kneeling in the middle of nowhere making a fool of himself. Ahh, well, that's a bit of a change with the sobby words and private embrace. So far, Lance had nothing to say. Maybe he was actually going to hold his end of the bargain, no hug talk, only a rescue. 

 “You ready?” Lance says while extending his hand. Keith looks at it, feeling the small moment of worry in Lance above, so he hopes it’s forgiven when he grasps it; holds it.

 “Yeah, I am.”

**Author's Note:**

> ALTERNATE ENDING: It's all in Keith's head and he's still very alone, he's just hearing what he wants to hear. (o´∀`o) (shot)
> 
> **Title comes from 'Chouwa oto ~with reflection~.' It's a beautiful, BEAAAUTIFUL song from Origins: Spirits of the Past. I recommend giving it a listen and thinking about space, it's crazy...
> 
> ANYWAYS, thank you for reading!! Pretty sure I'm leaving this as a one-shot, this is my very first Voltron fanfic/general fanfic in a really long time. Hit me up on twitter @jeonghammy if you ever want to discuss some feels. xoxo


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